When Caregiving Becomes Overwhelming
Stress from major life changes can manifest in many ways, and everybody has their own methods for coping with it. While some employ healthy strategies like exercise, meditation, or journaling, others resort to harmful ones, such as overeating, substance abuse, or social isolation. Your well-being depends on acknowledging the changes in your life and using effective positive management.
This past week marked five years since Rick had his stroke. The challenges at this point are very different from those first four years. As time has gone on, long-term effects of his stroke have become more apparent. As with anything else in life, some days are good and others are difficult. That leads me to the topic of this month’s blog: dealing with care partner burnout.
Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that occurs while taking care of someone else, even with a spouse or child. A 2015 study revealed that caring for a spouse or child can lead to greater stress and poorer mental health for women than caring for parents or others.
Stressed caregivers may experience fatigue, anxiety, and depression. You can reduce your risk of burning out by participating in respite care, joining a support group, or consulting a mental health professional.
What Causes Burnout?
My workload increased significantly when I took all of the responsibilities my husband and I used to share. Juggling too much at once is a common feeling for caregivers, as shouldering a burden this large is a task nobody can realistically manage on their own.
For many, the burnout stems from the gradual realization that life has fundamentally changed in a permanent way — it is never going to go back how things were before, and suddenly your plans and expectations look vastly different. This has certainly been a challenge for me, so it was crucial that I learned to recognize the indicators of burnout.
Signs and Symptoms of Burnout
Exhaustion (emotional and/or physical)
Withdrawal from social activities with friends and loved ones
Feelings hopelessness and helplessness
Overeating or undereating, resulting in weight change
Irregular sleep patterns (either too little sleep of too much)
Becoming more forgetful, distracted, and generally unable to concentrate on anything
Getting sick more often
Irritability, frustration, or anger towards others, especially over trivial issues
What Worked for Me
Caregiving can be incredibly stressful and emotionally draining. Fortunately my primary doctor and counselor provided helpful support. Because so many were online, there was no need to leave home to talk about how I felt. It turned out I wasn’t alone — my experience was far more common than I’d assumed. Caregivers receive no pre-discharge education on this issue or its management, so I had to figure a lot of this out on my own. Now I have the chance to share what I’ve learned and offer fellow caregivers the kind guidance I wish I’d had:
Prioritize some self-care. I wrongly felt selfish at first for doing so, but looking after yourself is not selfish at all — after all, taking care of another person only becomes harder when you aren’t taking care of yourself. To create space for self-care, I sought support and learned to relinquish control.
Maintaining a balanced diet, Because of Rick’s lack of interest in food, I changed my own eating habits. Remember to eat nutritious, balanced meals every day.
Keep both your body and your mind in shape. Daily exercise and relaxation techniques like prayer, meditation, or yoga can improve your mood and help you unwind. And be sure to get enough sleep!
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Asking for and accepting help isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. Sometimes, you’ll need to take the initiative of asking your support system for help since they won’t always know you need it. You might need to work on saying “yes” to help and “no” to extra responsibilities. If you surround yourself with the right people, they’ll be happy to land the occasional hand with tasks like picking up groceries or walking your dog.
Seeking Medical Attention and Emotional Support
I always recommend, when in doubt, call your health provider. Everybody’s situation is different, so your team can help you figure out the approach that works best for you personally.
In general, if you wake up each day exhausted or find yourself acting more irritable and impatient, this is the perfect time to seek support. Completing this survey, found in Chapter 7 of “Stroke and The Caregiver,” is a great starting point.
Self-Reflection Survey
Over the last six months, have I gained or lost weight because of poor eating habits?
☐Yes
☐No
Over the last six months, have I had an alcoholic beverage instead of eating a meal?
☐Yes
☐No
Has my use of alcohol or self-medication increased?
☐Yes
☐No
Do I avoid friends and family when they call?
☐Yes
☐No
Have I stopped taking basic care of myself? Examples include going days without showering and wearing the same clothes for multiple days.
☐Yes
☐No
If you answered yes to any of these questions, please consider signing up for a free consultation here: carepowerconnect.com/consulting
