By Lana Wilhelm
After more than 40 years of caring for patients and their families, I never imagined that one of my greatest lessons in caregiving would come when my own husband suffered a severe stroke.
Key takeaways
Caregiving involves more than meeting physical needs; empathy, communication, and emotional support can make a meaningful difference for patients and families.
Small acts of compassion can provide comfort and dignity to patients and their loved ones during some of life’s most difficult moments.
Becoming a caregiver after her husband’s severe ischemic stroke gave a nurse a new perspective on the challenges families face after a medical crisis.
A lack of accessible caregiver resources can leave family members struggling to find answers, support, and guidance when they unexpectedly assume a caregiving role.
Growing up, I had many family members who struggled with illnesses, and in 1975, I lost my brother in a car accident. I remember how helpless and afraid I felt, and so I decided to enter a line of work where I could help others during times of crisis — not only patients, but also their loved ones going through the same thing I went through.
Nursing, at its core, is caregiving. Of course, a huge part of it is tending to your patients’ physical needs, but it’s also important to do what you can to make them and their loved ones feel comfortable and secure as they navigate the complex labyrinth of the healthcare system.
All throughout my career, I went the extra mile to provide empathy and clear communication for everyone I cared for — answering questions, addressing concerns, giving tips on what to do once the patient is discharged, and everything in between.
Finding meaning in the little things
Sometimes it was something as simple as asking maintenance to make sure a patient's room was always clean after his wife complained, because I could tell the true source of her frustration wasn’t the messy room, but the feeling of powerlessness she experienced as she watched her husband fight for his life. If a spotless room could help ease her nerves even a little, it was worth it.
One patient who stuck with me was a priest who knew he didn’t have much time left, and his only wish was to see his church one last time. My colleagues and I wheeled him out of the ICU and into the hallway for a bit, giving him a clear view of his church through the window.
Little things like that are what made nursing so special and fulfilling for me. Even when there’s nothing you can do to save a patient’s life, you can still do something to bring them peace during their final days.
Of course, there will still be moments when you doubt yourself, when a patient doesn't make it, and you wonder if you did all you could. But all you can do in those situations is reflect, learn, and keep moving forward.
That brings me to the present, where I’m drawing upon everything I learned and experienced to help people in a new way.
When the caregiver needed answers
In 2021, my husband had a severe ischemic stroke. I suddenly found myself in the shoes of all those distressed loved ones I encountered during my nursing days. I’ll never forget the way I felt as I waited in the hospital while my husband was being treated, knowing I could lose him at any moment.
In my head, I knew the staff was doing everything they could to save his life, but in my heart, all I wanted to do was yell at them to just make him better.
Discovering a gap in caregiver support
Thankfully, he survived, but it would be a very long road to recovery. This meant I had to assume the role of his round-the-clock caregiver, and I quickly realized that very few resources exist for people in my position.
I was fortunate enough to have my knowledge as a healthcare professional to guide me, but that led me to think about all the people who don’t possess that knowledge:
Who do they have to turn to when they’re suddenly thrust into this role they never prepared for?
Is there anybody in their lives who can empathize with what they’re going through?
How do they find answers to all the questions they have?
Making sure caregivers don’t feel alone
Instead of continuing to worry, I decided to do something about it. My mission became to make sure no caregiver feels alone in their struggles. I published two guidebooks, "Stroke and the Spouse" and "Stroke and the Caregiver," and now I’m putting everything I have into CarePower Connect, the advocacy organization I started in 2021.
I’m also working to partner with hospitals and rehabilitation centers across the country through my caregiver training course, while expanding support for caregivers through the recently launched CarePower Connect+ service.
From educational podcasts and one-on-one consultations to a training course and support groups, I’m working to build a robust network of information and support that healthcare workers and everyday people alike can benefit from. I may no longer be a nurse, but I will never stop caring.